THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT

I have found in my vast travels as a little red dog, that some places I visit are "special."  Its not that they are cleaner, prettier, or even more exciting.  I think that places have a feeling or a vibe.  Years ago, when I travelled to Colonial Williamsburg, I felt a different feeling about that place.  This feeling has lasted with me.  DisneyLand and DisneyWorld have their own vibe.  Another place that definitely has its own vibe is a little known town in Illinois; Nauvoo.  Most people have never heard of Nauvoo.  Most people from Illinois have never heard of Nauvoo.  It sounds like the name of a planet from those Star Wars' movies. 

I am pictured here at a couple of historic spots in Nauvoo.  This town has historic significance, mostly for Mormons.  It was their last resting stop before being chased all the way to Utah.  The town was forgotten for over a hundred years and really was lost in time.  No industry, no growth, nada for over 100 years.  Which was a radical contrast from the bustling burg that existed during Mormon occupancy.  The Mormons built this town into a significant city in Illinois.  Well, they are back and have restored the city to its former self.  It is a trip down the bricked road of history.  

Every time that I visit this forgotten city, I leave with a feeling of Nirvana for days afterward.  I can't explain it, but to say, "you have to experience it for yourself."

NO OFFENSE, BUT SOME PLACES ARE JUST BETTER THAN OTHERS

There are many charming and beautiful places in the world.  Many people feel like where they live is the best and most ideal place.  However, empirical evidence tells us a different story.  I  am a very well travelled dog.  I have been many places at many different times and seasons.  I try to find the best of wherever I may roam. Some places, however are just better than others.    With that being stated, there is a reason that Salina Kansas does not have a population problem.  People in Salina can probably boast that they don't have traffic jams nor are they experiencing a huge drop in property values.  That's because no one really wants to live there.  No offense to Salinians, but the reason Los Angeles has all the problems it does, is because every one wants to live there.  The high cost of housing in some of these places just goes to show that people will pay just about anything, not to live in places like Salina.  Also, look at what a city like LA has to offer:  beautiful weather, strong economy, tons of entertainment, beaches, mountains, beautiful people, and famous people.  What is not to like?  Obviously, people will endure horrible commutes, smog, and a funk in the housing market to enjoy the LA lifestyle.  Many people will say, "I could never live in a big city like New York."  You are the minority!!  Millions of people say, "I will take New York  and all of its problems any day and every day!" 

 Colorado is another one of the states that grew tremendously fast in the past two decades.  The only question is, what took every one so long to discover this place?  Awesome weather in the summer, great snow in the winter, skiing, snowboarding, rafting, hiking, biking, lots of sunny days, dry weather, golf shots that really fly, and then everything that Denver and Boulder offer (Broncos, Nuggets, Rockies, Outlaws, Avalanche, Theater, dining, shopping, CU).  Salina can't match one of the things from the Denver list.  

The real thing that people want is quality of life.  Is my quality of life better living on some farm in the middle of nowhere, where I have no commute, no traffic, and no crime?  At the same time, I have no options!!  I don't have the choice on Friday night to go to a night club, to the beach, mountain climbing, or to a professional sporting event.  Even if you never go do these things, it is nice to have the option.  People have voted and said, "I want to go out on Friday night, stay out late,  live in a big city and not have to worry about getting up early on Saturday morning to milk a cow!"

Also, Salina is kind of ugly.  Where as Colorado is beautiful.  I don't mean to pick on Salina, but if it is your first choice then good on you.  However, if some one has a choice they will choose pretty over ugly almost every time.  There are always those people who think ugly is pretty.  They own the heinous looking pets and drive cars that no one else would drive.  It takes a special person to say, "Ugly, give me all you got."  It's like living in Alaska, it takes someone a little strange to live there.  To live in Alaska you basically have to be of the mentality that you can't get enough of -40 degree weather.  

Next point:  some people get scared in big cities.  They feel like there is safety in the country.  I, personally, am much more afraid of the guy who lives out in the middle of nowhere by himself than the guy walking down the street in Chicago.  I know that there are weirdos in the city, but why exactly does that guy need to live away from everyone else.  What is he up to?  Also, the Amish tend to live in rural areas and keep to themselves.  Nice people, but shouldn't someone tell them that the whole beard and no moustache thing is kind of creepy.  Maybe it is just me.  

HUMANS WOULD MAKE GREAT PETS!!!!!

Years ago I was enjoying a great summer evening riding around in my handlers convertible, when a song by a band named Porno for Pyros, came on the radio.  The song is titled, "Pets," and tells the tale of aliens coming to Earth and finding that humans would make great pets.  I have often thought about that, and I have come to the same conclusion.  Humans do the crazzziest and most entertaining things.  If you spend one evening watching "America's Got Talent," you will see what I mean.  Wouldn't it be great to have a pet that can do acrobatic tricks, sing, dance, and grill a salmon all at the same time?  Humans are show stoppers!  People are inventive, funny, and hardworking.  All great attributes for a pet.  The attached photos are some of my handlers/pets.

SERENITY AND TERROR

The images of beaches bring to mind leisurely walks, cool breezes, nighttime fires with friends, and sure death silently lurking just below the surface.  It is all Steve Spielberg's fault.  He has forever changed the phobias of people every where.  Jaws has scared everyone out of the water.  Shark week is upon us and the carnage is real.  Mr. Spielberg was just the tip of the iceberg.  Sharks are deadly, but just one of the millions of awful ways to die in the ocean.  We all know about drowning in riptides and undertow, but how about getting stung by a ray?   Step on a rock fish and you are done before you know that you are done.  I just saw that there is a massive increase in the population of box jelly fish.  That's just what the world needs.  

Human beings and dogs have really no chance in the water.  It is not our domain.  On land we can run, stand our ground, or call for backup.  In the ocean you can't out swim any predator, there is no standing your ground, and good luck with calling for backup.  Let's face it; we need to stay out of the ocean and just enjoy it from the safety of shore.  Let the nasty mammal killing machines own this piece of real estate.   

Everyone who Steven Spielberg scared out of the ocean should be thankful.  You are living a better life just watching from the shore.  

IT DOESN'T GET ANY HOTTER THAN THAT!!

My handlers use the word hot to describe lots of things.  Other people, like Daniel Craig is so "hot."  I also heard the alpha dog refer to some article of sporting wear as being "hot as a $3 bill."  However, this morning after my a.m. jaunt, I was chillin' on the coach when I looked up and saw this on the TV.  It was a touch warm this morning, but it sure didn't feel like 85 1 degrees.  Celsius or Fahrenheit, that is warm!!  I wrote on an earlier blog about the heat here, but this is threshold of Hades hot.  I hope the boy member of our pack is OK at his football practice today.  Take that Texas!!!

LAX: NATIVE AMERICAN WAR GAME!!!!

Lacrosse was originally known among Native American tribes as Baggataway.  Only later did the French name it Lacrosse, probably because of the stick (crosse).  I am not big on anything french, except french toast, but the sport really has nothing to do with our hygiene impaired allies from Europe.  This game was originally designed to prepare troops for warfare.  It is commonly referred to today as the "fastest game on two feet."  The only people who don't like Lacrosse are the ignorant masses who don't know anything about the game.  What is not to love, hard rubber ball traveling at the speed of sound, sticks with nets at the end trying to catch and fling this ball, physical contact(except in the women's game), and incredibly fast paced.  Plus, for those of you who want to feel like you are a part of the past, its the oldest sport on this continent.  A good time is guaranteed for all.  Except for the losers.  I think that according to the Natives, the losing team was sacrificed to pagan gods.  We are way too civilized to do that today.  No, we just second guess and criticize the losers until they grow jaded and hateful.  

Lacrosse is a fast growing game, too.  It is available to play in most places in the United States.  However, the East Coast is a hotbed of Lacrosse activity.  It is rumored that babies born in the state of Maryland, are born with a tiny Lacrosse stick in their hands.  

Most people who try Lacrosse, never go back to any other sport.  It is just too much fun.  It's main competition is the American past time; baseball.  I think that baseball is past its time.  Even baseball players find baseball boring.  Baseball is not even as American as Lacrosse.  However, I like Lacrosse being a little bit niche.  It is still cool and not so overly saturated with popularity that kids are buying Lacrosse shirts, just because its cool.  I don't want it to be trendy, just cool.  If you are a teenage boy and you want to impress a hot girl, what would be better than LAX.  If she asks you what you are into and you respond something like, "soccer."  How lame.  Everyone has played soccer.  But if she asks you the same question and you say, "Lacrosse!"  Now you have something to talk about.  Your follow up would be, "Its a Native American game of war.  Nothing really.  I'm lucky to have survived this long, playing such a dangerous game."  Now you are the cool guy that plays the non traditional cool sport with a little bit of danger.  You have now set yourself apart as the cool guy, who is a little bit different.  Not pink hair and a face that looks like you fell into a tackle box different, but cool different.  

ROCKIN' OUT WITH THE JONAS BROTHERS

Although this is a photo of one of the big screens at the concert, this concert was great.  It was July 4th and they only performed for 45 minutes, but it was a good 45 minutes.  Going into the concert I didn't know much of their music, but the stuff I heard, I liked.  These brothers Jonas seemed like really nice kids.  I know that they may be the flavor of week, but they reminded me of The Beatles.  Young girls screaming every where, plucky pop songs being performed, and middle aged women singing along.  A few middle aged men sporting t-shirts and a strange affection for the boys, but beyond that it was a real nice atmosphere.  

I am now a Jonas Brothers fan!!!  Long live the brothers Jonas!!!  Keeeeeeeeviiiinnnnnn!!!!!!  JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!   NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCKKKKkk!!!!!

EXPLOSIVES!!!!!!

Where does the primal need to blow things up come from?  Maybe its not the need to blow things up, but the desire to.  Maybe it is the desire to watch glowing lights in the sky accompanied by a loud boom!  From my p.o.v., that of a small red dog, it seems to be a innate desire shared by the male population of human primates.  Most of the women do not seem to be driven to create, set off, spend money on, and full on get into fireworks.  Many little boys want to play army and blow things up.  Many boys dream of flying planes and blowing things up.  Where does this come from?  Some women may be offended by this because they are the 1% that enjoys this type of activity too.  However, I am confident that a majority of women do not lay in their beds at night thinking of the explosion that would result from stringing 4 M-80s together.  If I am missing a whole chunk of the female population, then I will apologize.  Please respond with signed testimonies and photographic evidence.  

Speaking of blowing things up and flying planes, I have always wondered about some of the weapons employed in war.  I understand swords, guns, and tanks.  However, who dreamed up flame-throwers?  Is this person embarrassed?   Did it come out of a armament committee meeting where some guy finally said, "You know the other day I got really angry at my neighbor and I really wished I could have thrown fire on him.  I know that doing that is dangerous and I wouldn't want to get burned, so I rigged up this little number that will do just the trick."   The flame thrower seems to be about the worst way to kill someone.  I am going to stand here and burn you up while you stand, over there.  Just imagine the agonizing screams of the people as they are burning up.  Yikes!!!!   Bru-tal!

What about land mines?  I understand that some of them are just suppose to maim and not kill.  Do we really need that?  Some of these mines look like toys to attract little kids.  Honestly, who not only thinks this up, but gets funding for this?  All over the world armies of salesman are trying to get their ideas funded.  Most of them are things to make people's lives easier, like the Shamwow!!  Most of these ideas go unfunded and never make it to the market place.  But not in the case of the land mine that looks like a child's toy.  Not only did some psychopath have the cajones to build a business plan behind this idea, but then someone pitched it to the funding group.  Talk about knowing your client.  I imagine that the pitch went something like this,  "Look I know that you guys are a bunch of sick individuals with a strong desire to send a message.  We want to help you out.  We have just the product for you; an explosive that looks like a toy!!!  Nothing sends a message like hurting a bunch of little kids.  You will be known worldwide as the most depraved group ever.   Hell will have a special place for you."  

We dogs, we sniff each other in odd places, we mark our territory all over the place, and sometimes get into a spat, but none of the dogs I know are booby trapping each other's toys.     

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

OK, go out and enjoy the great outdoors.  Its a beautiful day, get outside and enjoy it.  It won't always be this nice outside, so I should feel guilty if I don't enjoy it, right?  Most of us have a very romantic perspective of being outside and enjoying nature.  Lush green lawns, warm sunny skies, and shady trees.   We quickly forget the cons to outdoor fun.  First off, I walked outside this morning to play a little lacrosse and guess what?  Some freakishly large spider had decided that the walkway from my front door was the ideal place to build a web and catch prey.  I don't mind this if I am not the prey.  I walked right through this sticky mess.  I was pulling web off of me for twenty minutes.  I still feel like I have some on me and I have showered since this incident.  That was just the start.

I also live in an area close to a body of water.  Which is cool, but also means that your neighborhood is a food trail for every thirsty animal in the area.  There is a lot of wilderness here, so this translates to a lot of animals.  Most of them nocturnal with  an abnormally poor ability to dodge cars.  Every morning in the street,  is a buffet of last night's roadkill.  Nothing like seeing animals turned inside out just after breakfast.  I have not even mentioned the smell.  If it is a dead skunk, forget about going for the morning jog.

Sitting peacefully in the grass and enjoying the beautiful day, is an event that people in other state's do.  Here, we are cursed with tiny microscopic bugs called "chiggers."   I don't know where they get their name, but I hate them.  I think that they are Satan's insectazoid spawn.  The grass is good for mowing and not much else.  I would like to just put concrete down all the way around the house and make it like a racetrack.  

Shady trees look great, but here, beware.  The ticks drop from the trees.  Also, the cicadas live in the trees.  They sound weird, but look even more bizarre.  They are mutant-plan 9 from outer space beings.  Red devil eyes, black alien bodies and wings.  They shed their shell in the late summer and it is a real treat if one of those babies happens to drop on you.  Yes, you will avoid trees for some time after experiencing that.  

How about the romance of being with your lover/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other/hotness in the summer heat.  I can think of many states where this is acceptable and cool.  I live in a subtropical zone, where I can think of nothing less romantic.  The humidity is a killjoy.  Nothing like getting close to someone in a humidity so thick that sweat is constantly pouring off of you.  That really makes you feel confident.  Most women's hair is shot after 10 minutes outside.  The real problem with sweat is the nice stains on the shirts and the constant rancid smell.  You have two options:  1.  Just endure the accompanying body odor and convince yourself that it is OK.  2.  Wear so much cologne/perfume that it masks the offensive smell completely.  The latter is what many people do and the result is nasty.  The body odor either mixes with the cologne/perfume creating a potpourri of stench, or the cologne/perfume is so strong that it makes the eyes, of everyone in a ten-foot radius, water profusely.  

One fashion tip for the guys out there.  Do not combat the summer heat with the loosely fitting shirt that you are only utilizing one of the buttons up the front.  You know, the tropical style shirt where you decide to show off you manness by only buttoning one of the middle buttons.  Few guys can pull this off and look good.  When I say few, I mean less than 1% of the population.  Probably nobody in the Midwest/Northeast/Southeast/Northwest/Southwest.  That just leaves a few guys in California, who are probably actors.  They spend about 7 hours a day working out, $10k/month on great "vitamins" and get their bodies waxed every other day.  They do this because movie studios pay them $10M to take their shirts off in films.  We all know who these actors are because most guys hate them and every woman loves them.  The rest of the world needs to keep their collective shirts buttoned.  This next tip should not even have to be mentioned, but if you are a man and are wearing any jewelry beyond a wedding band and watch, check yourself.  Bracelets, rings, earrings, necklaces, etc should be forbidden.  If you sport any of these, shake yourself off and come over to manhood.  These things just show your own insecurity and make you look like the dork that you are trying so hard to avoid looking like.  Nothing screams pay attention to me because I am so insecure, like a guy walking around with excessive bling.  Excessive is anything beyond the band and the watch.   

This is just a little red dogs point of view.

ONE OF MY PEEPS

The above photo is that of a friend of mine.  We hang out most days together.  Our handlers call him Justice, but his real name is Alpha Dog 10 number 6.  More about dog's real names in a minute.  He is an alpha dog who really can't stand having other animals in his yard.  He is cool with me, being that we are buds.  I am glad that we are friends because he is much larger than I am.  Also, he is somewhat aggressive when he plays.  He plays gentle with me, but with bigger dogs he really likes to get after it.  

Alpha Dog 10 number 6, aka Justice, is a great companion.  He enjoys his pack and is loyal to our primate handlers.  The names that primates give dogs and the dog's real names are never the same.  A dog's language is much more simplified and based on mathematic principles.  It is based on birth date, birth order, and position in the pack.  Justice is really Alpha, his pack position, 10, month of birth, 6, birth order.  It is a mouthful to translate this into English, but in dog speak it is just a few sounds or a sniff.  

Alpha Dog 10 number 6 is cute and I love him like a brother.  He is starting to get a little grey around the eyes and I know that he won't be with me forever, but so far so good.  

Why are dogs considered to be man's best friend.  The same reason that you can breed a dog to be the size of a Great Dane, but try it with a cat and you have a problem.  People who have cats the size of Great Danes roaming around their house are eventually eaten by the same cats.  Cats that size roam wild places and eat other animals.  Dogs that size, on the other hand,  sleep by the fireplace and eat leftovers.  Dogs take walks with their owners.  Dogs ride between their owners in cars and trucks.  Dogs play nicely with small babies and toddlers.  Dogs are like Marines:  loyal, courageous, and never leave one of their own behind.  Cats are like terrorists, you cannot trust them and you never know when they are going to turn on you.  It has been my personal experience that humans who prefer cats cannot be trusted.  

Of course this is being written by a dog and therefore may contain some amount of bias.  

TIME IS JUST BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

Here I am just chillin' like a villain.  I really need to put the brakes on this summer.  The weather has been excellent and days just continue to rush on by.  I have a theory that has been proven correct in the past couple of years.  Time is not absolute, it is relative.  When we had that massive under water earthquake a few years back, the impact caused the earth's rotation to slow, ever so slightly.   Based on this fact, I believe that time goes by faster relative to amount of fun you are having.  The more fun, the faster it moves.  There are some people that are so boring that when they talk, the sun stands still.  There are some people that are so fun, that time speeds by when they are around.  My handlers have some friends, Rochelle is one of them, and she is always very fun.  Time races by when she is around.  

Rochelle commented on yesterdays, post, noting that "redneck women don't just wear tube tops, but they wear them to weddings."  They also wear camouflage wedding gowns.  Rochelle would know, she was raised in a boat floating on the sea of rednecks.  She has been paddling against that prevailing cracker current for years.

Enough of the redneck talk for now. . .

Today I want to focus my attention on one of my passions; Lacrosse!!!  I know, most people don't really care about the fastest game on two feet, but it is so much fun to play.  I play every morning with a few of my mates and I dare anyone to play lacrosse and continue playing baseball.  Soccer is tame in comparison to lacrosse.  It is the perfect blend of the physicality of football, the speed of hockey, and athleticism of basketball.  Girls lacrosse and boys lacrosse are the most overlooked and under appreciated sports in the world.  Before the recent arrival of MMA, lacrosse was the fastest growing sport in the U.S..   

Besides the fun of playing, it is a fast paced game, which makes it great to watch.   Also, it is the oldest game in America, it is a Native American war game.  For all the guilt-laden white people, it is a form of giving back to the Native Peoples that we have wronged for the last 400 years.  My handlers like to play with me too.  Unfortunately, they have yet to find a way to slow me down.  My stature combined with superior athleticism makes me a tough one to stop.  I also, possess otherworldly stick work.  

I love most sports.  I just love some more.   It is kind of like ice cream.  You can't go wrong with ice cream.  I mean, its ice cream for heaven's sake.  I just like some more.  

THE LAW AND REDNECK CULTURE!!

The dog days of summer are in full throttle.  I could not resist using the tired phrase "dog days of summer."  Some cliches are just too easy.  What is not cliche, is the implementation of rules, laws, and justice.  I live in a place that I like to refer to as an island oasis in a sea of rednecks.  However, the tide is rising.  In this land, there seems to be a prevailing redneck type attitude that certain laws don't apply.  I remember last fall, during football season, the local football league asked that those attending the games, not to park in a certain area.  The area was residential and the people living there did not want a bunch of strange cars parked in front of their houses.  Seems logical to me and if I lived in that neighborhood, I am sure that I would feel the same way. 

Unfortunately, the Ford Truck drivin' part of our populace decided that the amount of taxes they pay, entitles them to park on any public street.  This may be true, however, it is nice to be a good citizen and respect the wishes of others.  I realize that it might have been some of this hardheaded-redneck attitude that led to the freedom from England, but it also contributed to the Civil War, racism, the KKK, and many other regrettable situations.  Well the neighbors had to get nasty and complain.  The league had to beg to be allowed to play on the fields.  The police started ticketing the offenders.  Rednecks lost this battle.  They will probably try to fight it again this fall.  

I don't want to sound as if I am down on the redneck cause.  Quite to the contrary, I find rednecks hilarious.  That redneck wedding show on CMT is the proverbial bomb!!!!   Redneck fashion is awesome!!!  I have never seen so many types of camouflage.  I see women at Super Target sporting pink camouflage cargo pants and capri pants.  Wow!!  Where would pink camouflage ever be functional?  Are these women planning on hiding in a field of pink hydrangea bushes?  

How about the Mullet.  It is a classic and will go down in history as one of the redneck staples.  However, that haircut screams economic ceiling.  Not too many CEOs sporting a mullet.  That would not go over well with shareholders.  Forget CEOs, not even middle management types can skate by with the Kentucky Waterfall.  The modern day equivalent of the mullet, is the goatee.  The durability of this beard/moustache hybrid is amazing.  Year in year out, dudes still rockin' the goatee.  I keep thinking that one morning, the collective goatee populace is going to wake up, look in the mirror, and realize that they look like an idiot.  

The list of redneck culture is vast:  camou-shorts, shirts with wolves and eagles on them, eagles and flags painted on truck windows, Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) urinating on various things, over-the-top NASCAR stickers on your truck, gun racks, female silhouetted mudflaps, bad teeth, tube tops, Carhartt, questionable grammar, tramp stamp tattoos, bad dye-jobs, obese women with string bean boyfriends, a fondness for mud, CAT Diesel hats, cigarettes, and dirt bike ridin'.  

Isolated, any one of the above can be considered normal, but if you start to put two or three of these together, you have a redneck. I am a redneck in appearance only, but as you can see I have adopted a redneck attitude in the above picture.  I don't pay taxes, but a little ol' dog like me isn't a threat to anyone.  Maybe this is how the whole redneck attitude begins. . .

MAD PROPS TO THE GREAT OUTDOORS!!!

The summer months do rock my canine world.  I live in a place where three weeks in the summer are Africa hot!!  Actually, maybe Mississippi hot.  I once spoke with a Hyena from Africa who had some real horror stories about that heat.  We also endure three weeks in the winter that are Northern Minnesota/Southern Canada border cold.  The other 50 weeks of the year, I just thank my lucky stars.  Today is one of those sweet summer days.  Not oppressively hot, nor that humid.  On the "real" humid days, I feel like someone throws a soaking wet wool sweater on me when I walk outside.  My handlers, bless them, keep our house at a cool 62 degrees most of the year.  62 degrees is a great temperature when you have a layer of fur covering your hide.  However, leaving a 62 degree house to walk outside in the 100 degree 90% humidity, is a shock to the system.  I feel sluggish just thinking about it.  

I met a schnauzer from Arizona that told me that dry heat and wet heat were the same.  He said, "hot is hot."  Only a schnauzer from Arizona would come to that conclusion!!  Anybody who has spent anytime in dry heat and wet heat knows that the wet heat is a whole other deal.  The humidity strips your body of energy and you lose water fast.  

Of course this comes full circle to College Football.  My theory is that SEC, Big 12, and Texas teams have better teams because they have to practice on the threshold of Hell in August!!  This toughens the players physically and mentally.  

Lastly, I wanted to comment on the UFC 100.  It is great that Dana White and the UFC are having so much success.  These fighters are the best athletes in the world.  Even Brock Lesnar's behavior won't stop their momentum.  He is actually carrying on the long tradition of fighters who speak before they think.  Do we really need our fighters to be cerebral too?  I want to watch them fight, not have them over for dinner.  Brock Lesnar is an incredible athlete and can apparently make his opponent look like Frankenstein.  That's all I need.  I don't care about the type of drink he prefers, his opinions of other fighters, or what his training regime is like.  I just want him to show up and fight hard.   

I spend most of the year pining for this time of year.  Now that it is here, I want to soak it in and drink the marrow from the bones of summer.   

ROCK CLIMBING, CAMPING, AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL

On my weekends, I like to get off of the  treadmill of life and enjoy something different.  At times, this leads me to pack up my Jeep and head to the hills.    Rock climbing, hiking, and camping are great and really take me away.  There is nothing quite so relaxing as sleeping in a tent on a Friday night.  Friday night, for me, is great because only a few hours previous I will have been engaged in the "work" of the week.  

Fall is one season that I don't usually camp.  The reason:  High School Football.  HS Football and College Football hold a special place in my heart.  I love tailgating before HS games on Friday nights.  The sun is just starting to go down and the evening is still warm.  The anticipation of the upcoming game is buzzing in the air.  Catching up with friends and family around a common event is the foundation of life.  I love hearing the band warm up and the sound of the drum line!  The drum line is the best.  Once I hear that distinctive sound of a collegiate or high school drum line, I start to salivate.  It is a Pavlovian experience to be sure.  Being a dog, I know Pavlov. 

The palpable feeling in the air of a college town prior to a home football game is as close to heaven as anything I know.  Especially if it is a big game.  The whole town is focused on one topic, everyone is making preparations for the same end, and the town seems to shut down and attend that one event.  Karl Marx once said that, "religion is the opiate of the people."  I think that today's opiate is entertainment.  If I were to rank opiates, college football is the most potent.  Think about it, live music concerts rarely deliver a "fantastic" experience, the NFL is nice, but mostly disappointing, and baseball is 15 seconds of excitement spread out over 3 hours.   I do like reading books and going to movies, but they still lack that special spiritual punch.  

I attended a MMA event once.  I found the fights fun, but the crowd seemed to be full of troglydytical half-breeds.  The fighters seem like nice guys outside of the octagon, but their groupies are hating life.  Crowds at sporting events, that is a great topic for another entry.  I will save that one for another time. 

I AM BIG IN JAPAN!!!!

Technically in the photo I am eating American/Chinese, however, I have mad respect for the Japanese.  I think the Chinese are cool too.  Actually, I find most cultures fascinating, but the Japanese really float my boat.  

The Japanese developed for a long period of time in a very homogeneous society with strict class restrictions. This made for a sweet history.  Anytime, you have a "warrior class", I give you mad props.  

Start with  the samurai.  Rockin' sword skills and a strict code of honor.  Follow up with Ninjas and all of their gnarliness:  throwing stars, under the cloak of darkness stealthiness, and weapons galore.  If there were no samurai, we would never have had Jedi Knights.  George Lucas you owe Japan huge!

Not to sound too self-centered, but (isn't that what blogs are for?), I throw a mean star.  When I clutch them with my bulbous mitts, throwing stars become more dangerous than Chuck Norris on day 4 of a 3 day bender.  I have been known to core a wolverine at 300 yards.  Last summer, I went Sasquatch hunting with only throwing stars and and my samurai sword.  The sword was for hacking through the brush and scratching my back.  I trophied 3 Sasquatches.  My taxidermist charged me extra due to their ginormity.  I often nap in the talon like fangs of the adult male Sasquatch.  That trip, however, is a story for another blog entry.  

Back to Japan, sweet samurais, rockin' ninjas, shoguns, feudal warfare, and crazy sweet weapons, what a history.  I LOVE JAPAN!!!!!

DANCIN' IN THE SUN!!!!

Check me out at Robert Redford's Sundance resort!

What a cool place!!  You can ski here in the winter, mountain bike in the summer, and run into random celebrities any time of  year.  

It is only minutes up a canyon, yet you feel continents away from the rest of the world.  I just need to figure out how I can afford to spend the rest of my life playing, snowboarding, mountain biking, and checking out celebs.  

I didn't get in any Mountain biking this time, but maybe on my next trip.  In this photo I am just chillin' riverside.  

SHAMWOW!!!, dinosaurs were big.

My handlers put me in the mouth of a Giant Ground Sloth, at least what remains of the beast.  I am glad that I am not competing to mark my territory with animals this big today.  

I had a great time at the Paleontology museum.  Looking at all of those bones of these once enormous creatures made me hungry.  Although, I am not really one to dine on bones.  I much prefer a good mexican meal, cajun, or perhaps italian.  I am not too picky, a good hotdog at a baseball game, suits me just fine.  

After seeing so many giant remains, it amazes me that smaller species survived.  We also, seem to be much more fragile than our earlier ancestors.  Maybe it's survival of the weakest!

One thing I do know, is that I enjoy the creature comforts of this modern age.  Imagine living in places as hot and humid as Houston Texas in the summer, with no air conditioning.  Yikes!  How about having to actually get up and manually change the channels on the television or having your telephone attached to a wall by a cord.  Now that is primitive.  

I do believe that many forms of early man still walk the earth today.  I have been to malls and there I have seen people that resemble Cro Magnon man.  I have seen women that are Neanderthals.  I think that Darwin's missing link works at Wal-Mart in Raytown Missouri.  

Maybe we are not really evolving, but devolving into some mutant sub-species.  Time will tell.  

PIXAR ROCKS THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!

Pixar's "UP" rocks the Casbah!!

3D glasses can be challenging for me, but once I get them balanced on my nose. . .

I thoroughly enjoyed this engaging tale of unlikely heroes.  In spite of the fact, that some of the dogs in the film were portrayed as evil and antagonistic, I still give this film two paws way up.  I related most to Doug, the loyal and redeemed zeta dog.  I just feel the need to state that alpha dogs do not talk to other dogs in the way portrayed in the film.  There is much more finesse and politicking involved than brutish threats.   

However, I have known many dogs like Doug, lovable, loyal, and kind.  Pixar gets major props for making protagonists out of an old man and a zealous boy scout.  On the surface these are not the run of the mill summer blockbuster heroes.  They are not robots, costumed superheroes, or tough talking cops.  Mr. Fredrickson and Russell are ordinary stereotypical people.  Every suburban neighborhood has a Mr. Fredrickson and every Boy Scout troop has a Russell.  I think that it is this familiarity that helps draw us in to their world.   

The bird in the film is a nice addition and used appropriately.  It could have become a major distraction, a la Jar Jar Binks in the Star Wars Phantom Menace film.  However, Pixar in their creative discipline avoid the easy jokes and immature prat falls and makes this film enjoyable for adults too.  This helps them rise above the other animated fare that appear in theaters.  

Back to earth, Pixar continues its unbelievable run of great films.  The best film of the summer so far.  Harry Potter may challenge this title later in July.  My handlers are uberly-geeked for this next Potter film.  The boy and girl in our "family" don't dress as Hogwarts' students any more, but the mythology still has a hold of their hearts.  

Costa Vida es muy deliciosa!!!!!!!

I haven't really had a chance to use much Spanish since my last trip to Mexico years ago.  What a trip that was, me, Sammy Hagar, and too many burritos.  However, that is a story for another day.  

Today, I had an out of body food experience.  Kind of like existentialism mixed with salsa.  After a rousing morning of Lacrosse, the fastest game on two feet, I rode my Vespa over to Costa Vida!!!  I appreciated the authenticity of the women making the tortillas from scratch.  The last time that I had tortillas like this was at La Hacienda Real in Salem, Oregon.  I wanted to convert the tortillas to a liquid and mainline them, they were so good.  I totally get addictions to good things like this, not nasty stuff like the fumes from paint cans.  As I ate each handmade tortilla, I imagined myself combining other good things with these tortillas, ie; raspberry jam, cinnamon honey butter, and Waverly peaches.  

I ordered twelve tortillas, so that I could have a stash back at the hotel just in case a craving struck.  The chips were good and the smothered burrito was to kill or die for.  Preferably kill. Not only was the burrito encased in the handmade tortilla, but it was covered in green chills!!  I chose the sweet pork as the meat.  What a masterful decision.  I am sure that I ate my body weight and more in that burrito.  Costa Vida, finally something of cultural significance comes from California!