THE LAW AND REDNECK CULTURE!!

The dog days of summer are in full throttle.  I could not resist using the tired phrase "dog days of summer."  Some cliches are just too easy.  What is not cliche, is the implementation of rules, laws, and justice.  I live in a place that I like to refer to as an island oasis in a sea of rednecks.  However, the tide is rising.  In this land, there seems to be a prevailing redneck type attitude that certain laws don't apply.  I remember last fall, during football season, the local football league asked that those attending the games, not to park in a certain area.  The area was residential and the people living there did not want a bunch of strange cars parked in front of their houses.  Seems logical to me and if I lived in that neighborhood, I am sure that I would feel the same way. 

Unfortunately, the Ford Truck drivin' part of our populace decided that the amount of taxes they pay, entitles them to park on any public street.  This may be true, however, it is nice to be a good citizen and respect the wishes of others.  I realize that it might have been some of this hardheaded-redneck attitude that led to the freedom from England, but it also contributed to the Civil War, racism, the KKK, and many other regrettable situations.  Well the neighbors had to get nasty and complain.  The league had to beg to be allowed to play on the fields.  The police started ticketing the offenders.  Rednecks lost this battle.  They will probably try to fight it again this fall.  

I don't want to sound as if I am down on the redneck cause.  Quite to the contrary, I find rednecks hilarious.  That redneck wedding show on CMT is the proverbial bomb!!!!   Redneck fashion is awesome!!!  I have never seen so many types of camouflage.  I see women at Super Target sporting pink camouflage cargo pants and capri pants.  Wow!!  Where would pink camouflage ever be functional?  Are these women planning on hiding in a field of pink hydrangea bushes?  

How about the Mullet.  It is a classic and will go down in history as one of the redneck staples.  However, that haircut screams economic ceiling.  Not too many CEOs sporting a mullet.  That would not go over well with shareholders.  Forget CEOs, not even middle management types can skate by with the Kentucky Waterfall.  The modern day equivalent of the mullet, is the goatee.  The durability of this beard/moustache hybrid is amazing.  Year in year out, dudes still rockin' the goatee.  I keep thinking that one morning, the collective goatee populace is going to wake up, look in the mirror, and realize that they look like an idiot.  

The list of redneck culture is vast:  camou-shorts, shirts with wolves and eagles on them, eagles and flags painted on truck windows, Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) urinating on various things, over-the-top NASCAR stickers on your truck, gun racks, female silhouetted mudflaps, bad teeth, tube tops, Carhartt, questionable grammar, tramp stamp tattoos, bad dye-jobs, obese women with string bean boyfriends, a fondness for mud, CAT Diesel hats, cigarettes, and dirt bike ridin'.  

Isolated, any one of the above can be considered normal, but if you start to put two or three of these together, you have a redneck. I am a redneck in appearance only, but as you can see I have adopted a redneck attitude in the above picture.  I don't pay taxes, but a little ol' dog like me isn't a threat to anyone.  Maybe this is how the whole redneck attitude begins. . .